I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize