Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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