I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
