In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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