Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
