I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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