We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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