garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
