Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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