I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
