yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
