Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
