She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
