i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
