apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
