My brain says no but my pants say off.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
