A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
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