You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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