Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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