Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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