who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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