Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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