My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
