this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
