it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
