Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
50% drunk capacity currently
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
