Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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