We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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