Me. At least after what I've been through.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
