we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just tell him i said nine months
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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