fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
