All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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