You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
