I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
