He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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