Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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