I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
