There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is Oprah even human
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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