Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
