Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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