i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
