Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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