Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
