I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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