I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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