omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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