Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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