eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
