I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
