Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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