I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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