Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
ttyl tear gas
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
