Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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