Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize