um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
