i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
