i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
