You're completely useless in the revolution.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
