Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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