i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
