Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
