whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
