so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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