He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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