You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
