I need help removing her.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
