You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
