Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
