wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize