Plan B is the new Plan A
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
