I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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